The First Time I Tried Starting a Missional Community I Failed
Have you ever tried starting a missional community from scratch?
“Missional” is a label we give to the qualitative and descriptive aspect of how a church or group of people actually lives. My buddy Hugh Halter says it simply,
“It’s about how much like Jesus people become… how much they influence, woo, and transform the culture in which they are placed.”
A family, group of friends or church that lives like this… Sounds good!
Well, a few years ago my friends all thought so too. We were excited to be rebels who were starting a missional community.
Excited, that is, until things progressed to where we moved beyond our weekly meal and discussion about being missional. It was time to start heading out and building new relationships, serving those in need in our city… actually making disciples.
That’s when everyone recoiled a bit.
Let’s Try This Missional Community Thing Again
Now I’ve learned how to make discipleship and mission a reality–something simple that everyone can live out in everyday life.
What I didn’t know back in those earlier days of starting a missional community was that while most Christians want to make disciples and live on mission with God, they also feel way to busy!
Often, when moving toward a lifestyle of discipleship and mission, people become overwhelmed with what they perceive as the risk of their family time, “margins” and sanity!
The secret is moving from “additional” to “intentional” in our thinking.
Discipleship is not a set of activities we need to jam into our lives, or a series classes that we need to take. And a missional community is more than just a weekly meeting of our small group with a name change.
It’s a series of simple, rhythms or “moves” we can easily, and intentionally, engage in our everyday life. Step by step.
Imagine…
- Making new friendships that naturally lead to “doing life” together.
(I can show you how.) - Or knowing how to talk with others about spiritual things without feeling awkward or pushy.
Discipleship becomes a way of life that includes your kids, close friends and neighbors.
That’s what my family and friends now experience.
If you want it… I’m here to get you started without all the headaches, stop/starts and frustration.
The best part? It’s 7 simple steps.
This process takes a little effort and intentionality. But it’s not complicated. And it’s one of the fastest ways I’ve discovered to get started with others making disciples and building community.
(You can do Steps 1 and 2 today!)
I want to give you access to this free Start-Up Guide (including ‘How To Start a Missional Community From Scratch’). Just click the button below and I’ll send it over.
Strategies To Beat Discipleship Procrastination
If you’ve felt like life just keeps getting in the way of living on mission—even with your spouse, kids, or those closest to you—there may be deeper reasons behind your lack of motivation.
This week on the Everyday Disciple Podcast, we’re digging into why we procrastinate and how that hesitation can quietly kill our efforts in discipleship and mission.
In This Episode You’ll Learn:
- The 3 major underlying causes of procrastination
- What procrastination looks like in discipleship and missional living
- How putting off action might be a form of not trusting God
- Ways the gospel speaks to this issue and how to get “unstuck.”
Each week the Big 3 will give you immediate action steps to get you started.
Please check out this new episode and be sure to get this week’s FREE Download of the Big 3.
Family Dinner Night
My wife Tina and I, have for years, been living out our spirituality–our faith–with others in community. I’m not talking about the “church we go to” but rather intentional community with others that’s focused on living like Jesus would live if he were walking around our neighborhood today.
A big part of living like a family with others is eating together, and OFTEN!
As if it is carved into sacred stone, our extended family–we call it our missional community–gets together for a weekly family dinner night.
These collaborative meals are usually simple, sometimes elaborate, often thrown together, but always warm and full of acceptance. It is a needed bright spot in our week and a time when anyone and everyone are invited in everyone is always invited. At times we will take communion together and go around speaking Good News to each other, pushing back the hurts and disappointments of the week and reminding one another of what is now true of us because of Jesus. Afterward, everyone helps clean up, making sure there is no leftover mess.
As a family, we practice an “open door policy” with one another. I know that I can stop by the home or apartment of those in my community at any time and it will be no big deal. It works in reverse too; my friends know that they can stop by our house any time (I’ve noticed that the single guys seem to practice this more around dinnertime).
This may freak you out a little. You may be thinking, “Whoa, how do you have any time to yourself.
What about boundaries?
There have been times when my wife, Tina, and I are sitting on the couch in the evening having a glass of wine together and the doorbell will ring. “Hey, Caesar. Hi, Tina. What are you guys doing tonight?” And I will say, “Hey, Nick, how you doing brother? Tina and I were just sitting here watching this romantic comedy together and I, um, was kind of hoping for a happy ending…if you know what I mean. So unless there is some emergency or you really need us right now, let’s get together tomorrow if that’s cool.”
Because of the openness and trust we have with one another, there is not only the freedom to open our homes, but we also have the freedom to say “Thanks for stopping by, but now’s not a great time.” We all know this and respect this reality.
But sometimes it’s hard!
Living like this could really spin-off in a bad direction if we don’t live with a focus on the Good News and live with intentionality. If my life is all about my comfort and feeding my preferences, then all of that stuff would be frightening and impossible to sustain. But in light of the love we have been shown, it is a pleasure and a blast to live in ways that show what our real, true heavenly Dad is really like.
Sure it would have been great if someone would have shared these ideas with you or led you into this way of thinking and living years ago, but as always, the next best time to begin…is now!
Question: What’s keeping you from hosting a weekly family dinner for your friends and community? If you’re doing it already, what are you experiencing?
From Small Group to Spiritual Family
Living as a family on mission in community with others is a big shift—and a big commitment. It gets even trickier when you’re trying to start or transition a small group that originally formed for reasons other than discipleship and mission.
This week on the Everyday Disciple Podcast, we’re asking the honest question: Why is missional living so hard? We’ll unpack some of the common challenges and give you practical tips, hope, and encouragement for when things feel tough.
Sure, it might feel hard at first… (because it is!). But once you’ve experienced the beauty of gospel-centered community—living like a true spiritual family—there’s no going back to simply checking the church box on Sundays.
In This Episode You’ll Learn:
- The key differences between a traditional small group and a true missional community
- How time, schedules, personal preferences, and priorities shape our ability to live this out
- Why it’s crucial for married couples to be aligned in mission
- What a sustainable, healthy pace looks like for long-term community life
Each week the Big 3 will give you immediate action steps to get you started.
Please check out this new episode and be sure to get this week’s FREE Download of the Big 3.
Salami Eggs
If you’ve been following this blog or read any of my books you know that life in community–lived like a family– is a big deal for me…and my family, both natural and extended. And meals are a HUGE part of building traditions and really feeling like a family.
One sure way to get our family and friends out of bed and around the breakfast table is to make a Team K family favorite dish … salami eggs. (Imagine in your mind a plate of food with a glowing orb of joy around it!)
This is one of our own concoctions, combining a few different ethnic traditions into one unique and totally delicious meal. Add to this a little breakfast cake, some black coffee, and the occasional mimosa, and an instant brunch-time feast erupts every time.
What’s kind of amazing about this particular dish is how many of our friends have started making it themselves, posting pictures online and seeking our vote of approval as they declare this meal to be one of their absolute favorites. Why? Because they’ve been so blessed by our tradition and want to faithfully pass it on and bless others. It is, in fact, an impossibly easy meal to make—once you’ve seen it cooked and eaten it a few times.
Countless times my wife and I have shown how many eggs per person ratio we use and how to cut the salami into little half-inch squares and fry them just right before adding the whipped eggs. We have confided in them which of the corn and wheat tortillas they should buy that will hold the cooked salami and eggs. And we have showed them just the right amount of cream cheese to spread on the tortillas before adding a favorite hot sauce. All of it adds up to one amazing bite of righteousness!
To be repeated and passed on, again and again…
This meal has become a ritual, a favored tradition in our household, and now in many others as well. It has multiplied out to new “generations” of salami and egg makers, many whom we have never even met. Each one is putting their unique little spin and nuance on it, but passing it on faithfully with love.
Imagine if life and discipleship all followed this same pattern or process.
It can, and it must.
It’s critical that we not only learn to live as extended families on mission, but that we faithfully and intentionally learn how to pass this life of Jesus on to others who in turn make more disciples.
You’ve probably never enjoyed the salami eggs before…but the next best time is now. Go for it. Here’s a link to the recipe and pictures…I KNOW you’ll enjoy it!
How Introverts and Extroverts Shape a Family on Mission
The difference between introverts and extroverts is one of the most misunderstood aspects of personality. So many people get it wrong, leading to myths and assumptions that just don’t hold up.
In this episode of the Everyday Disciple Podcast, we’re setting the record straight. We’ll break down the biggest misconceptions and uncover how both introverts and extroverts play a vital role in living together as a family on mission.
The truth is, we all have moments when we crave solitude and quiet—Jesus certainly did. And at times, even the most introverted among us step into social settings and engage with others—just like Jesus often did. Understanding this balance is key to thriving together.
In This Episode You’ll Learn:
- How introversion has nothing to do with “being shy”
- Why extroverts don’t always have to be the life of the party
- How spouses that are on opposite ends of this can better understand each other
- Ways culture has taught us to hide our self-love behind these distinctions
- Why we need each other to be more fully like Jesus and make disciples
Each week the Big 3 will give you immediate action steps to get you started.
Please check out this new episode and be sure to get this week’s FREE Download of the Big 3.
POPULAR ARTICLES
- GOSPEL FLUENCY: A RELATIONAL GAME-CHANGER!
- WHAT ARE THE (NEW) SIGNS OF A HEALTHY CHURCH?
- SHIFTING YOUR SMALL GROUPS TO VIBRANT MISSIONAL COMMUNITIES
- WHY DADDIES SHOULD DATE THEIR DAUGHTERS
- HOW TO PRAY FOR YOUR CHILD’S FUTURE SPOUSE
- LIFESCHOOL 122: HOW TO CREATE A LIFESTYLE OF DISCIPLESHIP
- ARE YOU WASTING TIME DEVELOPING THE WRONG PEOPLE?
- THESE 3 THINGS ARE TRUE DISCIPLESHIP KILLERS
- STORY OF GOD
ABOUT ME
I am the author of the top selling book, The Gospel Primer. My latest books, Transformed and Small is Big, Slow is Fast came out recently on Zondervan.
I help those with a high commitment to intentional living in the areas of their discipleship, family and mission acquire the leadership skills and tools necessary to succeed and leave a lasting legacy.